June, you should really hurry up...

I am so tired of dealing with a landlord. I can not wait until I own my own home. This is just getting ridiculous.

We have been having electricity problems for a month or so. Our landlord sent out someone from their church who is an electrician two times. And both times did not fix the problem.

Josh has known from day one what the problem is, but isnt a licensed electrician so he can not legally fix it. So we have been dealing with the electrician trying to do things the cheapest way to help out our landlords.

Well yesterday our heat went out and josh had to do everything he could just to give us heat. Out comes the electrician today and finds the problem (which josh has known from day one). He calls our landlord and now or landlord doesnt like what the electrician said because its going to cost them a lot of money to fix this, so he is calling different contractors to get a second opinion.

So here we are, waiting yet again, for things to be fixed.

I cant take it anymore. This is an emergency. If our heat goes out again theres a huge chance its not coming back on, and THEN what do we do.

The landlords wont answer our calls and wont call us back. Pretty sure I pay rent to you, and pretty sure that means that you need to answer my call when it regards something as important as our electricity and our heat in the freaking winter!

I know that problems will not go away if i own my own home, but the problems will sure as hell get fixed asap. I wont have to deal with being practically helpless in this situation.

Dear June, please come quickly!

I cant please everyone

Its not easy for me to be a 25 year old step mother to twin 11 year old boys. It's not something I expected to be doing at my age or at this point in my life, but it is the choice that I made. I love them as much as I possibly can given my role. They are wonderful children and I couldnt ask for better stepsons.

I try my hardest to be the best step mother and friend to them. I want them to be able to feel comfortable talking to me. I want to do all the things for them that their father cant do when he is busy at work. I try my best to not cross any lines between being their stepmother and trying to be their mother.

I will never be there mom. I dont want to be their mom, I would never in a million years dream of trying to replace her. I am just trying to do everything I can and everything that is asked of me for this position that I am in.

It hurts my feelings when I hear that she thinks I am overstepping lines. I am merely doing what is asked of me by their father. I am just trying to provide for them the best I can no matter what my role is. I am not trying to do more than I should, I am just attempting to do what they need done for them.

I feel misunderstood. I feel like the bad guy. When all I am doing is all I know how. I havent been a mother for the past 11 years. I have never been a mother at all. This is the first time in my life that I have been put into a situation where I am the stepmother of 2 boys and I am doing my best with something that is completely new to me.

I will probably  never have it completely right. Until I have my own kids will I fully understand what it means to be a mom. But I do feel like I am doing a good job of being there for the kids that I do have. They are a big part of my life and I want them to be well taken care of.

I am not trying to cause problems by being yet another parental figure in their lives. I am merely hoping that I can be someone that they are comfortable around, someone that makes sure that while they are under our roof are well taken care of, and someone they can call a friend. Not their mom, a friend.

I will never take your place, and I wouldnt dream of trying. I just wish you understood that this isnt easy for me either. It makes my position more difficult the more negative things you say about me. I am new at this, and I am doing the best I can possibly do.

I just wish you would see that. I wish you could step outside of your world and look into mine and know that this is harder than it looks.  Until then, I suppose that this will remain uncomfortable, I will continue to feel misunderstood and hurt by you.

I can't please everyone, but I can try my hardest to please the ones that matter most to me, and right now that's my family.

Welcome

I had a blog for school and I hated doing it. Probably because it was homework and it was over crap I did not really care about. I decided to start a blog of my own and be able to write about whatever I want to write.I love to write its just a matter of deciding what to write about. I hope it works out and I keep up with it! Thanks Shelby for giving me the idea. New posts to come once I feel inspired!